Saturday, May 18, 2013

Reaching the Hurting - A Mother's Day Message (Sermon)



This day 99 years ago, Anna Jarvis successfully changed our society by having the 2nd Sunday of May forever known as Mother’s Day, a day in which we celebrate the women who are important in our lives, who have raised us, guided us, mended our wounded knees and our wounded hearts. And as we are commended by Paul, we should indeed honor our mothers. This is the day that moms will receive cards and flowers and calls from children who’ve moved away. Some will arise to find their family serving breakfast in bed. Some might even be blessed enough to see their children cleaning without being told, or at least trying their best to behave and to be quieter than normal so that mom can have the illusion of rest. Some moms might even attend church with their families, or perhaps I should say that their families will attend church with their moms, though not as many will attend church for MD as they would be for Easter and Christmas. But nevertheless, they join mom in church because they will take mom out for a special lunch. 

But for those who would come out on MD, we preachers have tried to be on the ball to prepare, to honor as a body, our moms in the congregations. So we will seek the messages of motherhood from a character such as Mary, the mother of Jesus, or Sarah, or Timothy’s mom and grandma, or some other mom mentioned in the Bible. I’ve even used Mrs. Job for a Mother’s Day message. Some will not look at one mom, but look instead to Proverbs 31.

We will hold up the beacon of motherhood and praise them. Some churches will give the moms in attendance a flower of sort. I used to give a rose to each mom. Some would give a bigger gift for the mom with the most children, the oldest mom, and the newest mom. We would have all the moms in the room stand so that everyone might cheer their sacrificial work raising the children. In our honoring, we assume motherhood through rose-colored glasses, whereas on Father’s Day, we will blast the man who isn’t pulling his weight as a father. It is as if we are saying that if you are not a mom, then you are not a whole woman. We can even site Scripture such as 1 Timothy to that effect, that women are saved through having babies, lots of babies.

Now not all women are able to have kids. So when the church is showing so much love and adoration on moms, these women are hearing that message. They hear the church saying you are not a fulfilled woman unless you have children. Or you are not a whole woman. We don’t mean it, but our actions too often betray our message.  So these women, be that they don’t have children, have lost their children, or have been abandoned by their children will skip church in May, since we prepare the week before and reflect the week after. And this disenfranchised group is ever growing. Joining them are moms who feel so overwhelmed that they really see themselves as failures. They hear praise and think to themselves, “It’s a facade. You wouldn't say that if you saw these brats a couple of hours ago!”

It’s led me to look at their point of view and reconsider how we should handle MD. As you might have guessed, I am not going to have a MD message in the traditional sense. Rather, I want us to see, to be aware of the opportunities that surround us, and not just with women who fit the mentioned segment, but to expand our view to others as well, for I am ever the student of humanity.  I can sit at a mall and just watch people and not be bored. But since I've moved from the city life, I am not able to readily enjoy watching people. But we do have the internet and there are forums I do look at. And it is interesting that as I read their profiles, their user names are telling. There is one user name that is “ashleysmom” or another “dadcoach” because he has 6 boys. Some of the names are descriptive of what the person does, “gusbusdriver”. Of course my favorite name that I’ve seen is “forlorncubbie”. Now that is someone who loves the Chicago Cubs but knows they will be destined to be forever one of the worst teams in pro baseball. Marlins are the worst presently.

The lesson here is that often people find fulfillment where they can. They are really seeking purpose, meaning and belonging in a world that is otherwise cold and rejecting. Solomon said of all the things that man can pursue in life, nothing will fill that emptiness that people have. Well almost nothing he concludes. At one point, he said that life apart from the Lord is a waste, meaningless.

In this time we have the answer to speak into the lives of those around us. We have found our purpose and can therefore share it with others who need the hope. How do we do this?

1 Corinthians 5.11-13 Paul is encouraging the church in how the body deals with people. Did you know one of the biggest complaints against the church is the “hypocritical judging”? This is a valid complaint. Here’s what I mean: we tend to expect Christian behavior from non-Christians. Then we tend it ignore non-Christian behavior committed by Christians. For example the context of the passage is that Paul a man is with his father’s wife and the church is not batting an eye. Paul then tells them that this shouldn't  be so. We shouldn't put up with godlessness within the body. This doesn't apply just to the sexually impure, as this man was, but continues with the drunkards, the thieves, the abusive, and the greedy as well. Those who do these and claim to be a believer in Christ put them away. Don’t even eat lunch. But the part of the verse I want to focus on is last part of 12. Since we judge those with us, we must allow God to take care of the outsiders, or the non-believers. Why should the non-Christian come when he sees no difference between God’s children and his drinking pals? We must be sure that we do not however expect Christian behavior from non-Christians. We have radio ministries who are doing just that. Corporations that didn't claim to be Christian corporations are being bullied into complying? There we are lacking grace that allows us to speak into a person’s life.

Another passage that tells us how to speak into the life of someone hurting is Colossians 4.5-6. Paul tells us here that we need to make the most of our time that we have with the outsiders, making sure that we are gracious in our speech so that we can answer each person’s questions. I sometimes like listening to debates. Ken Ham is one. But every once in a while, he will lose his cool with his debate opponent and be a little less than gracious, unlike his radio bites. I am not criticizing him. This is where his fallible humanity shines through. He tends to lose it with “experts” who are refusing to listen.

Finally there is Titus 3.3. We must remember that when we are dealing with those seeking a sense of belonging, we were also once just like that outsider. This is why we need to be gracious in our speech and in our conduct. We must be patient as they struggle with the faith, coming to terms, accepting it on their timetable, and not ours.

This is what we are called to do as Christians. This is how we witness and carry out the Great Commission to the world around us Monday through Saturday and even some on Sunday. The world is hurting and lost. Let us therefore be God’s instruments of grace and love.

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